April 1, 2025 Judge not...

 This comes on the heels of a vey personal, raw post. Some wonder how I can just "put it out there". Am I not worried about being judged or thought less of because of being vulnerable?

The clear answer is NO. 

The blog is my therapy of sorts. It's about being able to write out parts of my life to have to look back on. It's all part of the reason I'm transparent. There is already too much filtering of what we see of others' lives, showing only the good and wonderful. Real life isn't like that.

I'm admittedly somewhat of a control freak. Firstborn tendencies are strong. What I've learned, especially lately, is that I cannot control whether a person is judgmental or not. Frankly, I don't care about being judged. It does not make me a flawed person, being the one judged. It is a character flaw to be the judge, placing that person in the position of power to decide something about another. It's never warranted.

Being judgmental, I feel, simply makes another place themselves in a position of thinking they are superior enough to look down upon whomever they view as inferior. It's such an unattractive trait.

Sometimes gossip can be construed the same way. They say, if you live in a small town, you never have to wonder what you're doing, someone will always tell you. If what you are isn't interesting enough, they'll make it up.

So, say what they will, I know my truth and I'm confident in that.

A gentle reminder, if you did not hear it directly from ME, I didn't say/do it. If you need to know something, ask ME. Direct is best.

Most significant are those who have reached out with their love and support. It means the world to me.

Thanks for indulging me. ☘

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Monday August 11, 2025 The Record Must Be Straightened

My family faces something we knew would happen one day, and dreaded; the beginning of losing siblings. This loss is of the second in our birth order, one of only three sisters amidst the horde of boys. The outpouring of caring and sympathy has been frankly overwhelming and very much appreciated.  There is one thing I feel compelled to address and clear the air. Now, this is strictly to ease my discomfort, and is in no way a condemnation of anyone. My sister and I were not close. This all began as children, born close together, not a new or recent development. We grew up as different individuals, in a big crowd. As adults, with our own families, we drifted farther apart in spite of living in the same town. Simply put, we just stayed in our own lanes.  At no time, no matter what disagreements or hurts happened, did I ever forget that she was, above all, still my sister. As my wise brother-in-law shared with me, some things just can't be fixed, so we just let it be. But now,...
Read more

April 1, 2025 Nobody's Fool

  April is here. Now may the warm spring days be more and the cold snowy ones a fond memory. There is no need for a drumroll for this topic today. I quit drinking. I have not counted the days, but it's been about a year and a half since. Instead of calling it a recovery, I feel it's better for me to refer to it as a significant life change. Unlike many, I did not have a dramatic event that forced this change. There was no major health problem, behavior faux pas, criminal slip, or intervention. I simply...quit. It was after the fact that I found how positively my life would be impacted. Alcohol had always been a part of my life, from the days Dad would give me a "snort" of his icy beer after work, to being of legal age at 18, always present at every celebration, to becoming a crutch during Covid. That is where it, in hindsight, got out of hand. I hid it pretty well, although the bottles accumulated at an alarming rate in the recycling. I ignored it, thinking I was okay...
Read more

April 19, 2025 I Forgive You, I Forgive Me

This is an extremely difficult and painful post, but a necessary part of my personal acceptance and healing. I've had a caring professional encourage me to do so, but I've put it off for too long. First of all, I am not targeting any one person. My use of "you" is a general term. I do take responsibility for letting them make me feel the way I did, and it's taken me so long to come to terms with being happy to just be me, warts and all. So, here goes... I forgive you for making me grow up too fast. Being the firstborn seemed to give so many license to make me more independent that I was truly ready to handle. I grew to be someone who never wanted to depend on anyone but myself. It caused me to push people away, instead of accepting help when it was offered, or affection I didn't feel I deserved. A shining example was a nun, who said when I was caught coming into the school lobby because I'd walked the 1/2 mile in the freezing cold, and wanted to get warm, ...
Read more