The Gramzie Chronicles

  Come one, come all...it's a full-blown pity party and I'm the guest of honor! You will wish you had some crackers with this whine... We leave in a couple of days for a long-anticipated trip. The bags are open on the floor in the dining room, adding to the existing upheaval. But soon, it will all be behind us.  To throw somewhat of a pall on the joy of the upcoming adventure was the looming uncertainty of the kitchen project. Riding on the heightened anticipation of traveling, we decided to be courteous and let our contractor know how long we'd be gone, you know, "just in case", as well as that the kitchen was demoed and ready. It was not the response we'd hoped. The job ahead of ours decided they needed more cupboards. As a result, they are behind in the cabinet shop, thus ours have not been started. We were understanding and thanked him. After all, he could not have predicted this. So. I sat and had a bit of a disappointed cry, sitting right there in my pit...

  May is Mental Health Awareness month, hand in hand with Suicide Awareness. I have, like so many others, had suicide touch my life, with the loss of friends, friends' children, and family. Whether it was with the loss of life, or recognizing the threat, it's a sobering, sad experience. Trying to imagine the abject hopelessness that one must be feeling is heartbreaking. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had thoughts of whether the world would be better off without me when my anxiety and depression was ramped up, complicated by self-medicating with alcohol. To go back to where it all began would be confusing and hard to pinpoint. Looking back, as hindsight is always 20/20, I think it was always part of my makeup. Having a traumatic event in my life brought this monster alive, making it hard for me to eat, sleep, and some days, even getting myself to go through the motions of the day almost impossible. That long ago, though, there was such an onus attached to being on medic...