Monday August 11, 2025 The Record Must Be Straightened

My family faces something we knew would happen one day, and dreaded; the beginning of losing siblings. This loss is of the second in our birth order, one of only three sisters amidst the horde of boys.

The outpouring of caring and sympathy has been frankly overwhelming and very much appreciated. 

There is one thing I feel compelled to address and clear the air. Now, this is strictly to ease my discomfort, and is in no way a condemnation of anyone.

My sister and I were not close. This all began as children, born close together, not a new or recent development. We grew up as different individuals, in a big crowd.

As adults, with our own families, we drifted farther apart in spite of living in the same town. Simply put, we just stayed in our own lanes. 

At no time, no matter what disagreements or hurts happened, did I ever forget that she was, above all, still my sister. As my wise brother-in-law shared with me, some things just can't be fixed, so we just let it be.

But now, I'm inundated with words of condolence prefaced by "I know you two didn't get along, but...". In some ways, that implies that I don't care that she suffered a brutal cancer, finally succumbing to it. It's a bit insulting, to be honest.

My emotions are ramped up right now as we prepare to say our final goodbyes this weekend and I may be making more of this than I should. All I know is how diminished I feel.

To make a final point, her death is not about me. The focus should solely be on her death, not our relationship.

She was always my sister. ☘

 

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