December 16, 2025 Boundaries

When you live with mental illness, one of the first coping mechanisms you learn is setting boundaries. Let's have a conversation about this.

First of all, I'm simply passing on information I've either been given, or have experienced personally. Everyone is different; how they cope, what works, what does not.  This particular topic is interesting to me.

Setting boundaries to aid in protecting yourself is not always an easy feat.  It's one thing with which I struggle, mainly because it makes me feel weak at times, knowing there are just some situations that are hard to deal with, but necessary to set some rules anyway.

The trouble comes when a simple, small roadblock gets turned into a brick wall of retribution. I hate that word, since we hear it so often, but there it is. For some reason, there are those who do not respond well to being asked to respect personal space, even if said space is in your head. Therefore, rather than a considerate compromise, it becomes something that morphs into full-blown rejection.

This is not a failure on the one needing the break. Rather, it can be a selfish response. So instead of understanding why withholding whatever it is that may create a problem, a complete moratorium gets put in place. There are those who only do well with all or nothing. So, it ends up being nothing.

That is when someone like me has to understand that a complete separation is better than adjusting the boundary. It can be painful, but necessary. Does this make any sense?

Saying that there are certain things I don't want to, or can't be,  be involved in because it's just too hard does not always go over. That is when the individual who won't concede is the problem, not the one in protective mode.

I've had my share of therapists, some really poor, some adequate, a few good ones.  The universal consensus has always been putting your health first, and doing the hard things to do it.

This has been one of the hardest, but most beneficial. The sad thing, at times, has been finding out who really gives a shit. ☘

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