The Gramzie Chronicles

  I should be asleep; in fact, I should have dozed off almost 3 hours ago.  This is new for me as I've been sleeping really well, though with a few brief moments of wakefulness. So to not even come close to dropping off the cliff is a new phenomenon. Maybe a little "whine" will help... It could be the state of the world, but let us not even go there. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been deeply affected, as many of you have, as well. I  guess I worry about and miss my boys, both in cities that have been targeted. It could be that my old work computer was beginning to glitch too much for comfort so I replaced it with a new model, installed Quickbooks Simple Start, as I was already using it, only to find the version of the bookkeeping I was working with was so old that my company information would not migrate to the new platform. So I'm dealing with setting up a new computer and adjusting to a completely different format of books than I'm used to, plus begi...

Here we are, the 45th day of January. Funny how some months are gone in a blink and the one we need to pass by in a similar fashion just drags on forever!  February will likely be the same. We don't let a day pass without being grateful for a warm, fully functional home. A decision has been made that Randy's Repair will be officially closed by April 1.  Why that date? That is the renewal date for the shop insurance that we can no longer afford, or should I say, we refuse to pay. It went up $1000 last year and I've no doubt it will have another substantial increase again. Randy isn't busy enough to justify it. So, we will add the building to our homeowners policy and call it good.  Randy has been cutting back for about 2 years in anticipation of being able to close one day; partly to ease the customers into not having certain services available, and to give Randy time to adjust.  The newer equipment is largely computerized and he's not equipped to service that. That ...

  it's been a few days, so this is somewhat of a garbage can of "stuff". The painting is done. Touched up and cleaned up. Done. Every wall and ceiling; it only took 2 years. "Only" 2 years, but it was a lot of surfaces. My heart is very heavy, my anxiety peaks more often, and that nagging sick feeling won't go away. So many I love live in Minnesota, experiencing the nightmare every day. It's so much with which to absorb and deal on a daily basis. My time on social media is substantially shortened to a couple perfunctory check-ins on my friends and my share of reposts. Please let your voice be heard. Protect your mental health. I shared that Rambo ruptured his back left knee, and his surgery date got pushed way back to February 10, due to a medical emergency by our vet. So, he's getting around okay, but needs help with the up and down. I'm trying to keep him off the hard floor in the kitchen as he's pretty unstable if he slips. He's claime...

  You all will be so proud of me. I reined myself in, set a reasonable goal for yesterday.  Once done, I resisted the temptation to do "just a little bit more".  I'm sanding and painting today...just one wall, but it's the big one. First is my third cup of coffee, and a visit with you. Then the TV goes off, and the music will rattle the windows. Thus, my topic of the day; the men in my past. Music is my loved and most effective coping mechanism.  Of late, that means reconnecting with the aforementioned men. I've downloaded more music that is good for my soul. That playlist also includes some I already had. So while I'll be spreading Clay Figurine on that monster wall, I'll be serenaded by John Denver, Cat Stevens, David Bowie, Queen, Bruce Springsteen, and Billy Joel. to name a few. I don't ignore my newest favorites, but these are the songs that make the whole world sing. *wink, wink*  It's just occurred to me that I need some Mac Davis and the me...

After my last post, I realized I was falling into that pit of frantic activity that serves no one.  Today, I need to reflect on some truly good things. I'm aware that many choose a "word of the year", I'm assuming to replace resolutions, as a more attainable goal. This was a real struggle for me! Not that I don't have goals, I seem to have several. This is what I settled upon. Steadfast came to mind first. After suffering so much angst over world events, letting it color so many days, I realized a more valuable use of my time is to recognize why I feel the way I do, all of that wanting to be on the right side of things. What I concluded was that I had to remain steadfast in my morals and ethics, to want only the best for others, and put the awful on a back shelf, where it belongs. I still share my opinions, they just don't rule my days.  It's been easier than I expected to look past the horrible things others say without reply.  The other issue I must addr...

  By mouse, I'm referring to the one who gets a cookie...you know the rest of the story. I've bored you ad nauseam about the work inside out home, but here is a bit more. I've painted every possible surface inside, except the dining room walls. I was able to paint the ceiling while the kitchen was in progress, but because of the glut of kitchen contents in the dining room, I could not reasonably get to the walls. Now I have no excuse to put it off.  I've also found spots here and there on the ceilings that may need a touch or two.  It's my spring list that is growing exponentially. The inside of the garage needs some love. I spent some time yesterday scraping off a section of wallpaper border that had been hidden behind a cabinet we removed. I know, wallpaper in the garage?? I was John Deere tractors, if it matters. That done, I filled nail holes...lots of nail holes...and gouges from various vehicle doors. I have self-sticking tile on the landing that needs to ...

  I used to think I needed to set up guardrails to protect myself. Turns out I need to set up guardrails to protect all those around me. I'm taking a bigger step back from social media, but instead of deleting it all, I'm checking in only 1-2X/day, and the Friends feed only.  The climate on FB is so tense, and I'm trusting the experts to share relevant information. It's all messing with my head. I seem to be always saying or doing the wrong thing, no matter how well intended. I've been this way all my life. For some reason, I manage to shove my size 9 in my mouth way too often or fumble the ball on the 4th down.  It's a great source of frustration. When I stopped drinking, I was hopeful I would put myself in those situations less often. Well, it's better, yet still too often in my mind, and remains a constant embarrassment for me, even though it is never from malice or unkindness. Most times, it's driven by emotion.  In my case, my heart shouts louder th...

  To say my heart isn't into trying to be inspirational, funny, or ironic this week would be an understatement. I've been really deep in my feelings about things happening of late and have to take the time to acknowledge that I have to feel instead of ignore, or react in a way that is not in my nature. So, while I process, I'm not likely to be present as much as I'd like. I'm scanning through my friends on social media and not making much effort to interact. I simply cannot scroll through the regular feeds. This is very reminiscent of why I dumped it all during 2018. We have a news source in which we trust, and do watch what is current because information is power. We get both sides of the story, and believe what we see and hear, rather than acknowledging what is clearly propaganda, in our opinion. We have dedicated time in the morning, then before supper. Period. I think much of my dread, sadness, and dismay stems from reading I've done in my life. The Diary of...

  A new year seems to bring out the organizer in all of us, even though, for me, it's a natural state of being. Now that I've had a chance to really "live" in my new kitchen, I invested in more of those clear storage bins, making the pantry easier to use.  I've placed a donation box in the garage and have sorted out some extras the dog no longer needs or uses. This gave me the inspiration for my next project. Feeling sorry for my poor husband... Currently, I have an old bookcase Randy mounted on the wall in the garage on which I store paint cans, some miscellaneous tools, and dog "stuff".  On the other side of the garage there are a couple of low, somewhat inefficient, shelves on which there is overstock I don't have room for in the house, dog food, and boots. My greatest desire at this point is to take the bookcase down, and install a shelving system to combine the contents of that, along with what is on the current shelving. Everything, all in one ...

Oh, what in the actual hell is happening?? I play brain games/puzzles every morning. There is an assortment of them, in each of which I play the daily game.  In those games are ads.  Lots and lots of ads. I'm not going to pay to have them gone, so I try to ignore them.  Since I fell off the peak of the 60's, I've noticed a major change in the algorithm.  In spite of never purchasing anything from these companies, or even showing any interest, I'm now plagued with the following: *Subscribe to this service to purchase a capsule wardrobe to replace your ugly, postmenopausal clothes. *Let AI choose a more vibrant,  younger look for your hair. *Everdries leak proof underwear *Chair yoga, in place of ads for walking pads and stationary bikes. *Foundation specially formulated for aging skin *Persimmon soap to fight the smell of an aging body To say I was not prepared to be inundated with ads for the elderly just because I turned 70 would be a gross understatement. I do...

  The miracle of GLP-1's has been, and remains, a hot item on the news. I'd like to share my experience, my reasoning, and my ultimate hope.. My weight has been always been an issue, from childhood, through teenage years, and as an adult. It was always the thing that made me feel less than worthy since I just wasn't an example of the ideal.  Was I morbidly obese? Of course not.  But if I hear the word "heavy", it makes me cringe.  But those are factors I have grown from, and out of. My practitioner suggested Ozempic after Covid because I had over imbibed my way through the pandemic, leaving me hoisting around more poundage than I did in the last month of both of my pregnancies. I was ashamed and not feeling very healthy, as you can imagine. This was in the early stages of the drug, where supplies were low and demand was increasing. Eventually, the costs became prohibitively high and while I'd achieved a modicum of success with it, I had to quit.  It wasn't...

  I received a post from a dear and close friend this morning, spurring the inspiration for the blog I've been struggling to find. It was about forgiveness and the four times it's necessary for inner peace. We all need that. Now, not all of these will apply to everyone, but it may help anyway. Please know, this is a very simplified version. First of all, forgive your parents for whatever shortcomings affected you, whether they are alive or gone. They were human and did the best they could.  Secondly, forgive a divorced partner or failed personal relationship. I've only had one other significant person with whom I separated from, amicably, and have remained friends to this day. I know I was one of the lucky ones. Forgive anyone who has treated you badly, or with whom you have a strained relationship. The past is the past; let go of what was. This does not mean you must allow them back into your life; let the hurt or betrayal go, along with them. Finally, and this is p...